Write a letter you can't send

Poridian

Little Mouse
Dear [],
This is probably my last post on this thread, because i’ve written like 4 and the majority were about you.

I’m a TERRIBLE friend. I know that. But you changed, and i didn’t know what to do. I look at our old messages and you actually used to answer me, you were a lot more alive. I wasn’t there to see why that change happened, but I came back in time to witness it..

I think you have a boyfriend now. Is that why? Do you only talk to him like how you used to talk to me? Like, do you give all your energy towards him or something?

Anyway. I just couldn’t do it. I talk too much. You ghosted me so badly, I was afraid to text you because of how much I talk. It was almost like talking to a brick wall. You only answer every 8 hours, if that. Why? What happened?

The most talkative i’ve seen you is when something bad happens or when you’re talking about your cat. I’m totally here for the cat thing. I love her and i love cats, and i’m always here to support you when your home life is going to shit, but that can’t be the only time you even read or message my answers.

And it fucking sucks. It sucks that I’m the only one putting effort in. It fucking sucks that i check discord every 30 minutes and am disappointed to see that you’re not even fucking online. It fucking sucks that even if you don’t have notifications on, you’re not even checking the app. It’s like you don’t care. You say you missed me, but I call bullshit.

That’s why I unfriended you, and I see you did the same after a few days. I just couldn’t do it. It fucking hurts to see that you don’t care. I can’t be somebody you only go to when something’s going wrong. I really did miss you. You were constantly on my mind. I felt fucking terrible, and when you gave me a second chance I was beyond happy, but after the second day you just stopped answering. And that makes me realize that maybe some things just don’t work out.

I really wanted to be friends again. It’s been almost two years since I met you. Never did I think that it would end up like this. I thought you would be there for me.. but you weren’t. I’m sorry.
 

Cyand

¡Ándale! ¡Ándale!
dear ,
i'm so happy to be able to say that
you were the one who screwed it up
and that you threw me away
not the other way around
and for what?
yourself.
selfishness truly is common now.
i hope you get so god damn hurt.
i let you into my life, you came in and trashed it.
i'm happy of who i am now, and i'll thank you for breaking me
so i could put myself back together again, and become even better this time.​
 

Tama

Cheesus
dear __,

there's really something special about you, to actually make me feel this way.
maybe, maybe not. I don't know if i truly like you or like the image of you.
it's like glass piercing through my heart and you stomping on my chest
and i'm so conflicted about this
i just know i'm an envious person about love and all.

dear s,

you are a good friend ya know?
 

Yvette

Retired RO Staff
dear x
i find in you something that ive never found in anyone else, thats why im so afraid to lose you, thank you for being a part in my life for almost a year now! i dont regret our time spent so far, im having such a great time with you and i hope you realise how much i love everything about you, i hope you feel the same way! i also hope you forgive me since there have been a lot of fights between us, but its okay, nothing can we always pink. I know we've both hurt eachother but it was never by intentions, you're always so sweet and you make me laugh so hard. thank you for being an amazing person, for standing up for me, for loving to talk to me and for actually seeing me as your best friend, i love you! hopefully we can keep adding more and more memories this summer to our minds 😍
 

Cyand

¡Ándale! ¡Ándale!
dear ,
one jump ahead.​
 

Galore

¡Ándale! ¡Ándale!
_,
I hope you know that this is all driving me into insanity. Good job. Thank you for making my plate over flow
 
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Kiyoharu

Kikoo Mouse *-*
dear x,

please don't talk to me again. you made me feel worthless, useless, not good enough. like i can't do anything right. like i won't ever be able to keep someone smiling, even though i try my best. i guess i'll just give up. hope everything gets better for you though. farewell.
 

Rintea

EN Sentinel & Fashion Squad Director
Sentinel
Fashion Squad
j, irl
i gotta let you go even though i don't want to. and that alone is killing me.
 

Kysa

Cheese Artist
dear irl,
that wasn't really what i expected.. and i'm shocked that i'd really be saying this but thank you.
 

Rintea

EN Sentinel & Fashion Squad Director
Sentinel
Fashion Squad
irl
remember how you said i was acting different? now look who's talking.
 
x,
when did u become such a bitch lol
 

-hexnumji

Little Mouse
dear __,

When we first met, you made me feel this new feeling I've never felt before, love. I was depressed and lonely, until I met you. You laughed at all my jokes, you told me jokes too. Your laughter made me want to cry. I dedicated all my time to feel that feeling from you. Whenever you smiled, I forgot to breathe. You enjoyed me and loved me. I wake up thinking of ways to hear your laughter. You helped me realize who I am today. When you tell me you love me, or when we hold hands, I get so happy, even if it's just platonic. I get into relationships with other people to hide how I feel about you. I mean, I'm pretty bad at hiding my feelings around you (if you fuckers realized i liked her, and watched me suffer, I swear I'll take away your anime privileges). I can't tell you how I feel because I'm afraid to lose my happiness. I'm afraid to lose the only person to love me for as long as I can remember. When I had home problems, you'd hang out with me at the park, telling me how much you loved me. Whenever I have bad thoughts, you cheer me up. You're the reason I'm alive now. You'll never see this, but hopefully one day I get the courage to tell you how I feel because I want to hug and kiss you every time we talk. Even if I'm no longer living in Hawaii, you still message me everyday. I'm so glad I met you and I love you more than anything. <3
 

Rintea

EN Sentinel & Fashion Squad Director
Sentinel
Fashion Squad
j, irl
i defended your name when they literally insulted me and told me that you were no good. i'm picky as fuck like i've said before, and i chose you. i took the little shit you did personal because i would of NEVER done it to you. let that sink in. i didn't like you in the beginning, and i should've kept it that way. i was minding my business, and then you showed up. came into my life for a few months acting like you cared just to leave and then come back for a little bit, then leaving again. honestly you're so inconsistent when it comes to your feelings. one minute you act like you care the next minute you don't and we're back to where we started. don't fucking play with my feelings just because you're unsure of your own. because now, i'm not gonna believe a word you say. they were so right. they were right about everything. i really am an idiot for falling for you. and i'm the biggest idiot for even believing for a second that i had a chance. i miss the old you from when we first started talking. being sweet and loving consistently, face timing me everyday just because you wanted to talk to me, and genuinely making me feel like i was wanted. sure, you have your sweet moments. but it's not the same. and it sucks to know that i have to let you go now, i have to forget about me wanting to date you, i have to accept it for what it is and move on. and go on knowing that you will never understand how frustrating and upsetting this shit is. it was fun while it lasted i guess, but this is the end of this chapter. hopefully someone better will come along and take your place by loving me consistently and never giving me any reasons to second guess if their feelings for me are genuine. so all i can say now is fuck you, and goodbye.
 
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