Write a letter you can't send

dear av, (irl)
im literally always thinking of you
always staring at you
im a fucking stalkerrrr but i can’t help it. you’re too fucking cute ok
every time you sit near me or even brEATHE IN MY DIRECTION MY STOMACH STARTS FLIPPING AND MY HEART RATE INCREASES BY 500BPM
 

Galore

¡Ándale! ¡Ándale!
_,
Even though you said it was okk, and ur not mad or upset at me. I feel stupidd,bc i always make a mistake, and i just look up to you hellaa, and U have really really good ideas and like i said i admire you. and i've done this mistake before- which makes me feel even stupider, and dumber. i just feel bad.
 

Fajita

Shaman
dear a irl,
Don't act like you don't like her, if you want to leave us so you can run back to that brat AGAIN I'm not going to be the one to try and change your mind & I'm not going to support you when you come back to us upset because she hurt you, again.
 

Jasbear

Cheesus
Dear,
It's so dropping when you find out someones true nature.
I was literally there for you and gave you emotional advice
when your boyfriend was cheating on you and everything,
you came crying to me for help and I've been nice to you.
and then you suddenly start being a bitch to me
downgrading my relationship, making me look bad
Posting things about me all over snapchat.
 

Journeys

Shaman
Dear M, (irl)
Putting this much trust in me honestly amazes me. I completely understand how you feel, and I hate to see you having to put everyone's feelings before your own, especially in a situation like this. D doesn't even show up, but he always gets his way, and it's making you miserable. I'm really sorry. Sometimes I wish he'd lighten up and realize how much this is affecting everyone else. Thank you for not giving up, though.
 

Ceciel

Active Mouse
Dear _,
you can trust me. You knew i had a crush on you since forever. And i remember the time you admitted to having a crush on me. omfg i was so happy. But now? well, I bet you don't have a crush on me soo.... I miss when you called me m* a*** or j****. I miss callign you r****. I miss when people shipped us. I miss when we said "ily" to each other and didn't add the "as a friend"... I said I had a crush on you. I still do, but everyday we sit in silence it slowly turns platonic. save me from this never ending hell
 

Jasbear

Cheesus
Dear
It's hard to find those who you can truly trust
I hate it when people say they'll never switch on you and will always be there for you
but next minute after you share something, they're gone.
 
Dear M,
Why do I always do this?
-----
Dear V (irl),
I dare you to try to push me down again.
I absolutely DARE you.
 

Galore

¡Ándale! ¡Ándale!
_,

I feel stupid again. i think i upset you. I know what my birthday wish is, and its to die in a fucking hole
 

Aesthetic

MAH CHEESE!
Dear _
I've been thinking about things the last two months, and honestly? Thank you. Y'know, for things you've done since November 2016. Yeah, this sounds like a taunt, I get it, but I've only just come to terms with practically everything. So I wanted to be mature and thank you instead of what I wanted to do about 2-3 weeks ago; the usual teenage angst stuff with backshitting and everything. So;
>Thanks for making me realise that you're not exactly my type. Not to say I never felt anything for you, I did - quite heavily, in fact -, but yeah. I'm the "fluffy" romantic type, the one who usually says "I love you" about every 10 minutes and who really loves the little things that others might deem... I don't know, worthless? I don't know, man. But yeah.
>Thanks for the memories and the experience. Now I know what I do and don't like and such else. The memories are fun to look back at while I'm bored and the experience is good to learn from - especially the bad events. I.e. trying with the same person about 8 times wasn't the best idea ever.
>Thanks for your support. Yeah, I didn't remember what you did at the time of the fight, but I know you supported me when shit went down in 2016, and it helped. Really. I can't say that I remember much support in the last few months, considering most of them were in absence, but yeah. Thanks, for that.
Yet I have a couple of issues I wanted to raise for a while. I remember, in that fight, that you thought I treated you differently because you were a mod or an Admin or whatever it was you said. Honestly? That hurt, because I know, I know, I'm not like that. I don't love people, chose people, treat them differently because of their rank in a game because that's just sick. I might as well have gone for Fours or another ex-coadmin if I was like that. But I didn't, because I'm not like that. I treated you differently because you were different. I didn't trust anyone at that time, and I treated you differently because you seemed like the kind of person I could trust back then.
I also wanted to raise that I'm not writing this to get you back. That'll just be a waste of my time, won't it? I'm writing this because I needed to rant about it, and I couldn't talk to anyone about it so I came here. I'm not sure if I even want you back. I probably don't, to be honest. But again, this isn't to get you back. I just wanted to raise things.
Last thing I want to raise is that leaving people behind, unless the situation is really serious, isn't really okay. I'm sorry, but it isn't. I get you're trying to protect yourself and stuff, but still. I can't trust anyone because of what you did? I'm not guilt tripping you in saying this before you start on that bullshit again, I just thought I'd let you know so you can think about it in the future. I invested every little bit of trust I had in you and you kinda threw it away like it was meaningless, or like it didn't deserve a second thought. Because of that, my trust for everyone is falling apart. I look at everyone and think, "Damn, when are they going to leave?". So, I kinda guess I wanna thank you for that, because everyone I'm going to meet I won't be able to trust like I used to. Then again, it made me grow up in a way. Made me realise that the people I thought would always love me, always be there and never do shit to hurt me will end up doing so anyway, intentional or not.
So cheers, man. It helped in some good ways and some really cruel ways.
[EDIT]: Also, I guess we were never going to really work, anyway. We both fell into rebound, both just recently broken off with someone when it all began. So yeah, that's that.
Anyway, bye.
Dear _
Your mods are just... useless. I'm sorry but I've been sat here for ages, watching EN just fall under the rug. Please do something about it or just fire all the mods you have. They don't do shit for EN, and they only stay on for an hour before leaving or going AFK for 5 billion years. And stop sitting there just watching all the time. You knew Fours, so follow what he did instead of just letting it fall apart like it never mattered.
 
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