Journeys
Shaman
Dear __, (irl)
I'm honestly scared of you. You're so over-protective, I don't get it. I'm tired of it. Then you get all angry and blow up at me. If you're so over-protective, why are you hurting me like this? It's ridiculous. I'm trying. I'm really trying to move on. But you are making it really difficult to do so. You'll say you're sorry, but you never mean it. I've said it before, and I'll say it again.. When you say sorry, you're supposed to mean it. I mean seriously, I'm only a teenager, and while she and I were in the car, she talked about getting a divorce. That's how bad you are. It's disgusting. And you don't just get mad at her and I. You get mad at the others in your family. Hell, two of them are only toddlers, and the other one isn't even your biological child. You're going to scar them for life. Stop it! You should be amazed you still have a family that doesn't completely ignore you. Even your mom is like this. You two are social manipulators, and it hurts. It hurts. Do you not know that? Have you not learned? You're going to loose all of us. Honestly, you're just so blind. I shouldn't even know all of this. She shouldn't even have to talk to me, her own daughter, about this damn divorce; but she does. Wanna know why? Because there's nobody else to talk to. Your shit is wearing me out. Grow up please. You're going to loose us all, and it won't be pretty.
There's so many things I want to tell you. The only thing you've really done for this family is help it financially, and that doesn't even matter. We can make it without you. I'm tired of this. I'm tired of having to be the mature one when it comes to you. You think you can throw something at me and expect me to react to it like an actual adult? That's not normal. Truthfully, I can't even invite any of my few friends over because of you, and you think you have the right to call me antisocial and aloof. I have a life, and I have friends. But I don't have enough courage to even bring them around you. You're embarrassing. You're so embarrassing. We can't even be a normal family and go out to dinner because all you're worried about is your reputation and job. I can't wait 'til I can legally drive. I'll have so much more fucking freedom, and I won't have to be under your constant control and anxiety 24/7. And you know what? I remember when you and I used to make these little cappuccino drinks and sit at the coffee table and drink them. I remember when you'd lay down on the ground and play with those toy horse figures with me. I have good memories of you, but they're all fading away because of your fucking immaturity and hurtfulness. I'm trying my best to give them, the ones that can still look at you without wanting to slap some sense into you, a normal childhood because I don't want them to be hurt and angry like I am. I want them to be happy, but you're slowly ruining all of our lives. I'm not even exaggerating. But if I'm being honest, you have improved. You have taken her out on dates like most couples do, but it's still not good enough. You snap at her constantly, and you never really focus on your dates. You're only worried about your job and what you're gonna do once you get home. We're all struggling here because of you. But I've managed to stay happy and positive about this whole situation, and I've managed to find people who make me happy. I'm hoping you'll be able to fix up your act so we can all be even happier. For me, for her, for us, please?
I'm honestly scared of you. You're so over-protective, I don't get it. I'm tired of it. Then you get all angry and blow up at me. If you're so over-protective, why are you hurting me like this? It's ridiculous. I'm trying. I'm really trying to move on. But you are making it really difficult to do so. You'll say you're sorry, but you never mean it. I've said it before, and I'll say it again.. When you say sorry, you're supposed to mean it. I mean seriously, I'm only a teenager, and while she and I were in the car, she talked about getting a divorce. That's how bad you are. It's disgusting. And you don't just get mad at her and I. You get mad at the others in your family. Hell, two of them are only toddlers, and the other one isn't even your biological child. You're going to scar them for life. Stop it! You should be amazed you still have a family that doesn't completely ignore you. Even your mom is like this. You two are social manipulators, and it hurts. It hurts. Do you not know that? Have you not learned? You're going to loose all of us. Honestly, you're just so blind. I shouldn't even know all of this. She shouldn't even have to talk to me, her own daughter, about this damn divorce; but she does. Wanna know why? Because there's nobody else to talk to. Your shit is wearing me out. Grow up please. You're going to loose us all, and it won't be pretty.
There's so many things I want to tell you. The only thing you've really done for this family is help it financially, and that doesn't even matter. We can make it without you. I'm tired of this. I'm tired of having to be the mature one when it comes to you. You think you can throw something at me and expect me to react to it like an actual adult? That's not normal. Truthfully, I can't even invite any of my few friends over because of you, and you think you have the right to call me antisocial and aloof. I have a life, and I have friends. But I don't have enough courage to even bring them around you. You're embarrassing. You're so embarrassing. We can't even be a normal family and go out to dinner because all you're worried about is your reputation and job. I can't wait 'til I can legally drive. I'll have so much more fucking freedom, and I won't have to be under your constant control and anxiety 24/7. And you know what? I remember when you and I used to make these little cappuccino drinks and sit at the coffee table and drink them. I remember when you'd lay down on the ground and play with those toy horse figures with me. I have good memories of you, but they're all fading away because of your fucking immaturity and hurtfulness. I'm trying my best to give them, the ones that can still look at you without wanting to slap some sense into you, a normal childhood because I don't want them to be hurt and angry like I am. I want them to be happy, but you're slowly ruining all of our lives. I'm not even exaggerating. But if I'm being honest, you have improved. You have taken her out on dates like most couples do, but it's still not good enough. You snap at her constantly, and you never really focus on your dates. You're only worried about your job and what you're gonna do once you get home. We're all struggling here because of you. But I've managed to stay happy and positive about this whole situation, and I've managed to find people who make me happy. I'm hoping you'll be able to fix up your act so we can all be even happier. For me, for her, for us, please?
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