dear x,
don't you miss the old days? the old days were we used to hang out with everyone and everyone was so damn happy? there was always new tea though, because of how big our friend group was. there was so many of us. i fuckin' miss it. i fuckin' miss everyone that was in our group. i miss the people that played X first then came to the game we played. it was like a fucking holiday when they did because it was not very often they got on. I miss Kodii surprisingly, I miss xmatty, i miss them all. I miss Sponges, I miss Awkward, I miss Hatersbhatin. I was in the fourth grade when i got exposed to this bullshit. 4th grade. I was 9 years old. 9. I was far more educated than the other 9 year olds because i was with them. I knew what most of it meant. it's still like that. i'm 15 years old now and im still far more educated than the students in my school, just because of a internet game. a few months ago, i fucking realized it. this game is toxic once it gets you addicted. it's like a drug. luckily, i'm not fuckin addicted because im addicted to worse shit. and thats scary to be honest. these people you meet can be so far away, yet you feel so close. you call, text, facetime, everyday, yet they could be lying about it all. it can quickly turn to shit. thats why i don't fucking trust no one, i learned from a young age to mind your business and move forward if it isn't yours. if youre involved, show your teeth. and when i do bitches love to test me. i hope to grow up and be a lawyer one day. i bet no one i knew from 6 years ago to now knew that. NOBODY. if i die, don't say shit. keep your mouth shut. don't say we were close, and that i meant the world to you, because i most likely didn't. most people don't fuck with me because i'm harsh and good, i don't give a single fuck. all those people from back then grew up to be fake ass bitches and have sex at 12 and runnin the streets and causing fights, but guess who gets all a's, all AP-classes, and already made a fuckin college plan. i'm sure plenty of kids have done that my age, but i bet most of the bitches i grew up with didn't or don't. i still wish to have a future even if i have my head in my hands and begging to die every night. i may be a fool with my personality, but all that matters is knowledge. i miss how i could say something without offending someone or just having a nice time. nowadays, i gotta make fuckin friends every time i log in because the ones i met a few nights ago already forgot about me. back then, if i was to die or even threaten to kill myself, everyone would freak out. it was fake love. they ain't even know my real name. nowadays, all they gonna say is "same." or "me" because they don't give two shits if anyone dies anymore, and sadly, thats the truth. i wish i could show someone how i die every night then wake up and still be fuckin high. i just wish i could see my "friends" reaction to once it actually happens. everyone is chicken shit and they say they gonna do it but they actually go to bed crying. for that night. that one night. they log on and act like nothing happen. silly, i've been on this depressed shit since 2014. it don't fuckin go away, if you gonna say it, do it. ion fuckin care no more, i'll feel bad for ya, but don't feel bad for yourself. but i wish i could just go back, even for 5 minutes. i would give everything up. and if you actually read all of this, and you genuine vibe with this, like it. ion want no likes on this shit because i want to say some shit that no one can relate to because nowadays bitches ain't original.