dear L (S),
yes. this is for you. i love you too much,
to let you do this for me. i don't want this. i never did.
out of all people, i would've thought you were the one to understand me.
you're never home anymore, i don't get to see your nerdy self with your girlfriend.
i know you don't think much of it, but i miss you.
i can tell you're sad. i don't know why, but i can see you've become colder.
you're eight fucking teen, why are you still picking fights on a online game?
tell me why, you say you agree with me, yet you still put off negativity on others.
why are you like this? seriously, you're so childish.
she's right, too. you can't blame her for all of her sayings.
that's why i've created peace with it. i know it's true.
so, why are you trying to break her?
yes, it sure as hell broke me, and i'm still broke, i always will be.
you just can't assume that i'm broke because of her, still.
a piece of me will always remember that and it won't ever be the same,
but we could always try to rebuild. i am not going to begin it though.
if that's what you want, okay, fine.
just know, you're hurting me more than you're going to hurt her.