dear , irl
Happy birthday!! I wish I could tell you in person. I'm sorry for treating you terribly in the past, I was jealous and upset with you for no good reason. You're beautiful inside and out and amazingly generous and lovable. You are and were so much better than me, I wish I could have been a better sister towards you and that Mom would have put more effort into keeping you and loving you. You were mistreated and abused, she clearly didn't make any of the right decisions and the time and I should've helped you.
I hope you're okay and that they're treating you nicely. I'm happy for you even if it means I can't see you, I still love and miss you.
Dear t,
I love you, a lot.
I don't know how to show it but I mean it when I say it.
Even if you don't actually love me, I'm fine with just being friends. Talking to you and being around you in general is good enough for me, I'm not going to ask for more. I want to continue appreciating this and you.