Write a letter you can't send

Astrapia

Little Mouse
Dear _, (Irl)
Keep your act together and my opinion of you will change faster than you can ever think.

You think that whatever I say is a joke while it's not, I'm not always happy you know. No human in this world is going to be happy 24/7, my trust for you is lowering and I can't handle your back-stabs anymore. All I have to say now is goodbye and don't ever think of talking to me again! Don't love you. :)
 

Season

Pingless
I feel like I have to keep everything together, that I have to be responsible for everything that goes wrong. I put this pressure on myself, and I have no clue why. To punish myself? Have pity for myself? Ha. I honestly don’t know. But if I don’t keep everything together, and I let everything out, then I panic. I start worrying like crazy, “what if I annoyed them?”
“What if they leave me?” “What if I shouldn’t have said anything?” “Do they think I’m stupid now?” “What would’ve happened if I stayed quiet?” “What are they going to think of me now?” “What if they think little of me now?” “What are they going to say?” I hate this about myself. I fight with myself constantly. “Should I tell them? No. I shouldn’t. They’ll think I’m annoying. But what if I start acting different, causing them to act different? I have to explain myself, shouldn’t I? No. They won’t care.” And so on. I always want to tell someone, or talk to someone, but I feel like I can’t. I’m stuck. I’m confused on what to do. So many people have told me to take a break from everything, but I can’t. I can’t strip myself away from something that I’ve become attached to.
I keep telling myself to wait. Wait and see if I get better. But I don’t want to wait anymore. I know I’ll get better, but I know I won’t for awhile. And I hate that. I hate that I’m feeling so shitty, and I can’t even crawl out of it if I wanted to. For starters, anxiety isn’t just going to “go away” it stays with you. You only learn how to better manage it. But I can’t even learn how to do that because I’m too god damn afraid to tell someone in my family that I need help. It’s like I’m being my own doctor. Telling myself “it’ll get better, trust me.” But then telling myself “it won’t get better. You’re just getting worse. You’ve come too far, just do it.” I don’t want to feel this way anymore, y’know? I can’t say this to you, because you won’t know what to say or do. And I’ll just think you’ll yell at me or leave me. I feel like this isn’t worth saying. I feel like my mom, dad, sister, best friend, all have this expectation for me to be ok, and not feel this way anymore, but if I come to them, pleading for help and assistance I’ll be letting them down. So again, I put this pressure on myself. I give myself rules to follow, and quite honestly it scares me.
Idk.
But, I’m done blabbering on now.
 

Zeawo

Active Mouse
Dear_,
I didn't "lie", I just bent the truth. I mean I'm not cutting on my wrists.
 

Xeo

Well-Known Mouse
Dear,
Honestly I'm falling apart rn
My fucking anxiety and bipolar gets worse each day
You aren't helping for shit
You always keep fucking pushing me around
Everytime I even mention that I have bipolar or anxiety you say "its just a phase" or "Sure you do"
I'm so fucking done please just hear me out for once
For once in your goddamn life
Yeah I get what I want and I don't have it as bad as other people
First of all money doesn't equal happiness I'm still my stupid bipolar and anxious self
And stop bringing other people into the conversation I'm talking about my problems not their problems
But anyway thanks for basically mocking me for saying I have these mental illnesses!!
 

Zezzo

Little Mouse
Dear,
Ffs I still love you.
 

Kellita

Gin Fizz
Dear,
I caused everyone I ever got close to into some kind of pain.
If you think I won’t hurt you then you’re wrong,
I probably will.
I don’t mean to; it just happens
I’m toxic for anyone and anything
How can I keep you happy and take care of you when I can’t even do that with myself?
 

Xeo

Well-Known Mouse
Dear,
Why be alive if I'm going to feel the same thing over and over again, depressed angry disappointed and just in general not happy whatsoever
I let people walk all over me and I can't change that
Yeah I have love but I don't always feel it
Nothings getting better
I fell in love again, got hurt again,what's the point?
I can't believe I thought for a split second we'd probably be a thing
I mean who'd fall in love with me?
I don't need pity, I just want to be happy for once with no worries on my mind
 

Mcpatrick

MAH CHEESE!
dear ,
‘don’t save her, she don’t wanna be saved’ you tried, but it was too late, you lost two great girls, for some average one. smh to you.
 

Elixir

Pingless
dear x,
i have learned so much tonight,
one of these lessons being that you really don't care for me, in any way. and honestly it's up for debate if you ever had.
the fact i'm sad right now sickens me because i really shouldn't be over someone who didn't/doesn't care for me, and it sucks because no one can just change their feelings no matter how badly they want to or how hard they try. i've also learned that i will not waste my time on people who don't care for me, because i realize i care TOO much and it always ends up badly for me, so i am going to put myself first and not focus on the unimportant people who don't deserve me quite frankly.
thank you for teaching me all of this and goodbye
 

Zezzo

Little Mouse
Dear,
"You wouldn't understand." Please, tell me. I'd try my best to understand, just for you. You may not think I love you but I do. So please, open up.
 

Warmth

MAH CHEESE!
x,
seeing you around forums makes me feel fucking sick. i can’t believe i gave you not one, but two chances. both times you wasted my damn time and made me feel so unimportant.
i regret meeting your dumbass. i should’ve ignored your messages and moved on with my life.
but no, i didn’t move on. i gave you a chance.
and you took advantage of that.
you would talk to me maybe once every two months, you’d make me fall for your dumb lies and you’d lead me on with false feelings.
so i ended things.
for myself.
because i didn’t wanna get hurt.
i got over you, but then you walked back into my life and turned everything around.
you started talking to me daily, flirting, and being completely different than you were the previous year.
so i gave you another chance.
this time you really fucked up.
you broke my heart with all of those lies.
i was a mess for months. i kept hoping you’d come back and tell me everything would be okay.
but oh, not anymore.
i finally opened my damn eyes and realized you’re not worth it, that you’re not worth a millisecond of my time.
and so i moved on.
found someone better.
but for fuck’s sake, because of you i’m so scared of losing _ when i shouldn’t be, because i know for a fact, unlike with you, that _ loves and cares about me.
and, i know you don’t care, because you simply never did.
you literally don’t give a damn about me, and honey, the feeling is mutual.
i’m done reminiscing over you.
i’m done being scared that you’ll come back and ruin everything again.
i won’t fall for it.
i won’t let you back in.
i don’t want you, and i certainly don’t fucking need you.
so do me a favor, don’t talk to me.
don’t like my posts, don’t give me shit about this letter.
everything said here is the truth, whether you like it or not.
 

Christ

Active Mouse
dear _,
idk why ican’t handle u breathing like trust me ihate u so much but every once in a while aka everyday i needa check if yr still breathin

dear _,
LOL BEINGG BISEXUAL ISNT A TREND

dear S, A, ,A, D, J, W
stop breathing yr all ugly
 
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