Journal Entries - Remade

Saio

Pingless
1/7/2018
Tired, I binge watched Riverdale on youtube all night.
 

Jisung+

Mouse
~~~1/7/2018~~~
Dear Diary,
My day went pretty good today.
I was just super lazy, I didn't go anywhere.
I played with my dog Lola. She is super feral omg.
I'm happy... for no reason.
Wow.


End of entry. -Mariya
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 

Koutarou

Shaman
01/09/18
8:22 PM

Currently studying for my exams this week. It's freezing out here and it's really and very hard to stay and keep warm over here. No one literally told me that 2018 here in the Philippines in my area was going to be so freaking cold and I wouldn't be wrapped in 5 blankets and wearing 2 jackets right now and if there wasn't any cold at all I would've planted myself on the floor and letting my body sprawl out like a butterfly. But anyways today has been absolute BS for me because of how people aren't understanding my side and how they aren't understanding my situation at all. They want me to go on ahead and waste my precious time on a stupid "truth or dare" game. No one wants to play that game here because these people which're in a group of 10 are one of the shadiest and meanest people here in school. Like they're always there to target someone and ruin their days or either if you're really unlucky; they'll ruin your life with one single push and that's where everything falls down like the domino effect.

I can't really concentrate on studying because there are a lot of things going inside my mind and I just worry too much of what will happen in the future. But then again I'm wondering how I can be happy for the rest of the year without trying to kill myself once again and once more. Honestly I'm just that person who just worries over everything, that person who wants to end it all. Nothing much really happened interesting today because of the BS I was just thrown at. Like heck, you want me to play your stupid game with my precious time and I don't fucking want to. Then all of you there just start talking-behind my back loudly. It's not even funny just so you know. ghghfgrh
 

Aesthetic

MAH CHEESE!
9/1/18
12:36

I'm stressed. Super stressed. I have an exam in just under a quarter of an hour and yet I'm on this writing an entry. What's more, I'm pretty fucking down rn because it's almost been three days since I've seen my girlfriend and I'm worried and also concerned. Not just for her, but for what's been going on. I really hope she's okay, and I really hope I get to see her soon, but I seriously need to stop messaging her. I mean, with every message sent I get more clingy, right? And I've sent her loads with no reply. I need to stop, but I can't. I'm honestly a bit scared. Scared, worried, and so fucking stressed out.
what a glorious way to spend a Tuesday afternoon.
 

Kellita

Gin Fizz
1/14/18 ; 10:07 am
woke up & then layed in bed on my phone for 4 hours
went for a morning run and then went to the creek where i live by and saw a bunch of baby turtles !!! was so cute and made me smile
 

Aesthetic

MAH CHEESE!
16:11 14/1/18

She came back and talked to me again, and I'm so happy. I love her to bits ❤
 

Maws

Shaman
1/14/18 - 9:12 AM
i didnt get much sleep last night.
been really worried about my sister in the hospital, and now im getting more worried since now its confirmed that she has some problems and she now is going to have to take medications for it.
but today is my youngest sisters birthday!
shes gonna go shopping and out to eat (in which i hope she brings back food i can steal)
currently thinking of how nice itd be if id be able to meet "her", i mean... shes not that far away, right?
-
1/15/18 10:30 AM
yesterday was a pretty horrible day. but i got to see my sister and shes supposed to be getting out of the hospital today so i am excited.
 
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Corpse_husband

MAH CHEESE!
18:02 January 19th, 2018

I’ve been, so sad, there’s nothing I can do and it’s so messed up. But sometimes it’s kind of funny, I like a boy with eyelashes that are way too long and the prettiest hair and yet I still love him after being rejected, he makes my depression 18 times worse and i’m just so upset because my dreams constantly consist of him and I just feel so messy all the time because of that boy.
Other then that my day was pretty okay, I’ve been reading a nice book and I found all my animals huddling in the bathroom​
 

Kysa

Cheese Artist
1/19
Binge watched both seasons of stranger things
i was up until 2 am but it was worth it
 

Aesthetic

MAH CHEESE!
Warning; this is a bit depressing, so don't read it if you're not interested, thanks.

2/2/18 10:20am
For the past week, I've been feeling really numb. I haven't been able to feel anything. Not happiness, not sadness. Just nothing. It's really beginning to bug me. Usually, it only lasts for a day, maybe two. Never a week. Along with that came old self-harm urges. I've had to resort to doing the Butterfly Project; where you draw butterflies of your arm or wrist or hand and you can't self harm until they're gone. I've had to draw a few of them for numerous urges over the past two days alone, quite a number more over the past week. It's actually a but sad, really. I haven't had these urges for ages, and yet here they are again. I don't want to tell my girlfriend about them because I don't know what affect it'll have on her, and so I don't want to take that risk. I can't tell my friends either because of the fact that they're all pretending I don't exist rn. Life really fucking hurts right now, and I'm on the verge of just asking it all to stop.
 

Kysa

Cheese Artist
3/10/18
watched A Wrinkle In Time it was pretty good i have to say
our kitchen floor is all torn up because we had a leak and the worker guys
who were working on it laid tar down and now it smells like burnt cough medicine
or something i dont know but it's bad
 

Journeys

Shaman
3/30/18 9:38 P.M.
I woke up at around ten o'clock ish because I never have school on Fridays. I walked downstairs and heard some of my favorite oldies playing. And of course, the reason they were was because my mom was cleaning. She and I always have the same taste in oldies, so I got up and helped her clean. Then I sat down and got on my laptop like a lazy human and went on Netflix to watch Sherlock and The Office. I also got on MiceForce to stalk friends and such. Then I just chilled for the rest of the day. And then I'm here now writing this down because I'm bored.
 

Kellita

Gin Fizz
3/30/18 - 9:47 PM

i’ve done nothing productive but
be sorrow and eat chocolate !!!
I had an amazing day with my
grandmother though, ❤❤❤
HER COOKING IS THE BEST
she’s the best !!
 

Zokia

Active Mouse
3.30.18 - 11:29 PM
I've been slowly doubting my relationship with my boyfriend. We'll just call him.. S. Of course, not all relationships can be perfect. I just never am able to tell him these things because I'm afraid that I'll say something that could upset him. We've been together for so long now, so I shouldn't be so scared. I can never seem to open up on emotions, and when he asks if I'm okay, I just tell him that I'm fine. I want to tell S, I want him to know how I feel, but it never comes out. Also, we never talk a lot anymore, and I'm scared that it's just getting too boring. I don't want to lose him; we've been through so much together, and he never gave up on me. I've just been upset about little things, like my appearance. He always tells me that I'm beautiful and such, but I sometimes just get that feeling that S is saying it to make me shut my mouth. I just want this to go away

On a happier note, though, today I went to see Love, Simon, which was super good! My friends were there too, and we went shopping for a little bit after. I got to buy some BNHA stuff for myself, which made me happy since I don't buy a lot for myself ;; I just was glad that I could spend some time with my friends to let go of the thoughts
 

Dmitri

Mouse
Today’s the 31rst of March.
We split some time ago, 2 months ago to be exact. I still think of you the same way I did the first week we dated. It doesn’t feel like home anymore, nothing does. Days on days, I feel like a zombie. We are still in touch but it isn’t the same. Most days when I get the urge to call, I stop myself and tell myself that you’re not mine anymore. Tomorrow’s Easter, the first one in a couple years without you. I think I will forever miss you, tomorrow, next week, next year. You were the love of my life, and will continue to be for a certain period of time. I won’t waste time longing over you in public, nor even in private. All in my head. All alone. I’ve turned to a website that i’ve long discarded from my life, to help cope with this terrible feeling, without you.
Today isn’t the first day thats been the 31st yet, it’s the 3rd one without you.
 

Kellita

Gin Fizz
April 2nd, 12:05 AM
i just came back from a music festival!!
MY EASTER WAS PRETTY GREAT
i got to see maroon 5, panic! at the disco,
one republic & daya and it was from a really good view honestly like i got so many great vids and pics I WAS SO HAPPYYYY !!
 

Tee

Well-Known Mouse
April 2, 2018 - 1:21 AM

-Laying in my bed, contemplating life. Searching for answers to all the problems of this world. Longing to rejoin the community, but knows I can’t due to my inactivity.

1:22 AM

- Starts to remember depression. Thoughts occur of very dangerous actions. I gaze at the window, I still see light, but there is no sun there.

1:24 AM

- What is the meaning of life? Why have we been created just for all this mess to happen. The urge to do something lingers in my body, but my morals keep me in check. Alas, what ever shall I do?

1:26 AM

- Man I want some chicken nuggets...
 

Masn

Cheesus
to be quite honest, i’ve given up on time and the dates. i’ve become to emotionally detached to everything i used to love. it’s like i’m always being followed and haunted for the things that used to bring me joy. all i do now is sleep. it’s been weeks since ive seen this boy. and i’m glad. but i can’t help but feel the need to check up on him. i still love him. i think i always will. i wish to say that i didn’t but, i do. unfortunately. i miss jordan. i wonder how he is doing, everyday. i keep space from him because i wish was to not hurt him. he is so handsome and i love him with all my heart. i wish him the best, always. this girl has fancied me for a while now. i can tell that because, she’d said before. she is my friend. we are going to a concert soon but, i’m not excited. it’s just like a chore. but one thing i do find exciting is baking. she had come over to bake with me one day. i had smiled a lot that day. i can fall in love with someone, but i feel like something is blocking me from expressing that and acting upon it. and i feel so terribly sorry about this but, i can’t fix it. so why care anymore?
 
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